Hay un rostro triste en la infidelidad. Es la cara de la víctima que sufre, de quien recibe el engaño.
Existen muchas variedades de infidelidad, las cuales van desde el hombre que engaña a la mujer y viceversa. Además de las que son mutuas, donde cada uno tiene otra relación.
La persona víctima, la que ha sido traicionada, siente como sentimientos y emociones negativas mucha ira, enojo, vergüenza y culpa.
La Terapia tiene que explorar esos sentimientos y tratarlos adecuadamente, buscar detalles e informaciones aumenta el dolor de la traición.
Como terapeuta no estoy de acuerdo con algunos profesionales que estimulan a que se detallen todos los hechos de la infidelidad, ya que agrava el dolor.
Lo correcto no es trabajar el contenido, o sea, explorar detalles de lo que pasó. Lo adecuado es abordar el proceso.
Si se sabe que hay infidelidad, se debe tratar las heridas creadas y superar los sentimientos negativos como ira, vergüenza y culpa.
Se debe definir si se desea perdonar y acompañar al paciente en ese proceso.
Si desea la separación se le acompaña también. Es la persona quien debe tomar sus decisiones, no el terapeuta; cuyo rol es ver el hecho sin juicios de valores y sin dejarse afectar por su propia historia, para ser objetivo.
Cuando el cónyuge que ofende quiere el perdón, se debe comprometer con la terapia para que se produzcan cambios en la relación de pareja y se cree un nuevo contrato matrimonial.
Algunos van a una o dos terapias sólo buscando el perdón de su pareja y no se someten a un compromiso y a un proceso de crecimiento marital.
El dolor a veces es mayor cuando la infidelidad se comete con un familiar cercano, con un amigo o con alguien del mismo sexo. O sea, con un homosexual o con una lesbiana.
Sin embargo, siempre hay dolor, aunque no conozcamos a la persona con quien se produce el triángulo engañoso.
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